It's not unusual for people to come back from an inspiring personal development seminar or after having read a potentially life changing book on goals and ready to take action only to be faced with indifference and sometimes downright hostility from loved ones. Why is this the case and what can you do if it happens to you?
The relevance of what I have to say here will depend to some extent on the nature of your current relationships with friends and family. Not knowing your situation. I cannot be specific as to the outcome. What I do know is that there will be a reaction once you begin to implement the goals and make changes. And it might not be pretty at least at first. Especially where a change in comfort is concerned. That is to say to their psychological as well as possibly physical comfort! Your friends and family have grown accustomed to the familiar you warts and all. How dare you upset the applecart by seeking change with all this goal setting nonsense! ;-)
One effective method for handling this is to expect it. Be prepared! In any web of relationships there is an inbuilt survival element of "what's in it for me?" Remember this is not necessarily a negative or selfish trait to be despised - it's simply a reality of why people are often drawn to each other in the first place. So you should be increasingly aware of the impact your goal setting and changing life direction may have on those close to you. I would go as far to say that you should patiently resolve to see their side of it with as much compassion as you can muster. Now compassion doesn't mean weakness or imply deviation from your chosen path. But it does suggest an openness to understand and perhaps within reason to compromise.
An example from a friend of mine may help to make the point. When John ( not his real name) first announced he was leaving the corporate world to pursue his goal of building a successful small business his friends and family were at first surprised even a little jealous. But then it dawned on his wife that not only would their income drop drastically during the unknown and possibly prolonged startup phase of the business but that John would be working from home each and every day. For a woman well used to being a homemaker and on her own for most of the nine to nine working hours considered normal in Japan and within the confined space of a small by Western standards. Japanese apartment this became a source of some friction between them.
How would you handle a situation like that? Stick to your guns and tell her that come what may you're going to be at that desk in that apartment every single day even if it takes you 10 years to achieve the goal you set? There are no easy answers here but John would be well advised to holster his pistols and commence the delicate art of negotiation. From a compassionate viewpoint you understand -- and not with a "I win you lose" attitude.
I know of cases where this fear of upsetting others especially people you care about caused life-changing goals and dreams to be aborted or stillborn by their creators. What a potential loss to the world! Even if you haven't launched your dream goal or project you can begin right now in the practice of loving compassion for those around you. One day you may be glad you did.
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Related article:
http://awsouvupvs.blogspot.com/2007/11/why-your-goal-setting-annoys-friends.html
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